My ex-girlfriend didn’t treat me very well. We broke up in May last year, largely because her version of polyamory involved her quite literally ‘replacing’ me with her new girlfriend, who was a friend of mine. This all took place while I was still living with her. For a while, I was essentially cooking and cleaning for my ex, her son and her new girlfriend (her son was the only one who showed any appreciation). They both tried to turn my friends, my support worker and even my mother against me. It pushed me over the edge, but in the end, my mum and her husband got me and 2 of the kittens that my ex was going to give away to spite me out of there.
I still keep in touch with that particular ex from time to time on Facebook, which is where I met her in 2015. For all of her problems and despite the fact that she treated me and her other girlfriends badly, she now has a new girlfriend, a friend with benefits and she told me she was meeting some other girl over the weekend. I am not judging her for her lifestyle choices, but will someone please explain to me how this is fair?’ She treated me and others lkle shit, she used me as a stopgap, a maid and a babysitter. Yet I’ve been alone for almost a year and I can’t even make a friend. Not only has she not had to deal with the consequences of her actions, but she has seemingly been REWARDED for them.
Why am I mentioning this? Because it goes to show that being a bad person gets you further in life. Though god forbid I were to cheat on someone, because the guilt would devour me, just like it does for what happened with my ex-wife (when she found out about my gender identity in 2011). My ex girlfriend can go on screwing people around (or just screwing people) amd I’m eternally alone, because I’m stupid and ugly. She hates herself as much as I hate mysslf and was always complaining that she could never meet people, but she does. She’s never had to be alone for a prolonged period, because she hops from one girlfriend to the next.
I wish people wouldn’t talk to me about their relationships, period. I fell out with an online friend, because she was also poly and she kept talking about her partners to me. It got to the point where I snapped and ended up blocking her, because she just didn’t get it. It’s a shame, because she lived in Syracuse, which isn’t that far away, so she could have become an actual ‘real’ friend. But why do people do this? Why would you talk to your single friends that are struggling with loneliness about your relationship(s)?
Then I have to remind myself that the president of the United States, Donald Trump is a horrible person. When he won the election last November, it served to remind me that bad people get far in life, unless they’re cursed with bad luck This is one of the main reasons why I don’t want to carry on.
I don’t have a good heart anymore, because this is how people see me: