Awful experience

The SSD medical assessment was bad. The waiting room tipped me over the wage before we were even called in. I had to put my hands over my ears. The interview was intimidating and direct. I didn’t understand some of the questions but it didn’t take long.  

I can’t even write about all of it, because it’s too upsetting to even think about. I don’t expect to get approved anyway. I feel dreadful, on the verge of tears. I’m also sleep deprived and not sure I even feel up to going for pre-admission testing at hospital tomorrow. I wan to go back to my apartment, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t feel safe.

If I’d known in advance how bad that would’ve been, I’d have worried myself sick and not skept for days prior.  In this case, the event was worse than the anticipatory anxiety. And the thing I can’t write about is going to circle inside my head and eat away at me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.  

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Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

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