The difference between self-love and narcissism 

Many people confuse narcissism for self-love.  I used to consider self-love as a form of narcissism because it was easier for me to consider self-love as a defect, rather than something positive.

But now I get it. It’s actually relatively easy to differentiate between someone who loves themselves and a narcissist:

  • Self-love is borne out of confidence, comfort in one’s own skin and happiness. Those who practice self-love have little or no need for external validation.  Those who practice self-love will readily compliment others, expecting little or nothing in return.  Self-love is positive.
  • Narcissism is borne out of insecurity and self-doubt. A narcissist needs constant external validation in order to feel good about themselves.  Narcissists seldom reciprocate when it comes to validating others (for example giving someone a compliment).  Narcissism is negative.

While I don’t love myself, I hope that I have gained an understanding of self-love and I no longer consider it a form of narcissism.

I admit to my own insecurities and I turn them inward.  But many insecure people turn their insecurities outwards, by either becoming bullies or narcissists (or both).

Feel free to disagree or add to the discussion.  I’m not a mental health professional and I don’t pretend to be.  I just try to study human behavior so as to understand people better.  

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Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

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