Unable to get internet service – feeling cut off and socially isolated

To say that things are not looking good would be an understatement.  There seems to be little chance of getting affordable internet in my apartment and a phone with an unlimited data plan would be too much.   I sat with one of the members of staff and we called Frontier together.  Their internet is affordable, but they said they’d charge up to $160 for installation which is money I don’t have.

So as of now I have:

– No internet.
– No phone.
– No friends here.
– No music or television channels beyond those found on antenna
– No heating, still.

If you’re reading this thinking “first world problems”, you don’t understand how important internet access is to me.  I don’t make friends ‘offline”.  I’m 3,500 miles away from my family and few friends in England.  Unless I go somewhere with free WiFi, I am completely and utterly cut off.  Being cut off and alone is my worst nightmare;’my thoughts will consume me.

It’s going to turn freezing cold again by the weekend, with a LOT of snow forecast, which will make it difficult for me to even get out at all.  Any worsening of my depression will also make it difficult to go out and will trap me in a very dangerous cycle.

If I had to choose from internet access a phone, local friends or heating, I would choose the internet a million times over.

I’m so fucked.  I still wish I could just go back to England, where I at least matter to a couple of people (or maybe not).

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Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

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