Accused of harboring internalized transphobia

I admit that I do harbor a degree of internalized transphobia, but it is as a result of multiple negative experiences with transgender people offline and online.

I put a pathetic ad on Craigslist seeking friends.  I got a few responses, but nothing worthwhile.   The most recent was from a transgender man.   He seemed okay at first, until he questioned me as to why I don’t like talking about transition.  His final email upset me. It was laden with accusations and sarcasm and he rescinded his initial offer to meet for coffee:

I’m judged by transgender people for not wanting to discuss transition and for believing that the push for trans “visibility” is a BAD idea.  I just want friends and would be open to making transgender friends, except that almost every transgender person I meet does the same thing, including mentioning how much they pass, which is narcissistic behavior. I don’t care to talk about transgender issues or get involved with activism.

Just leave me alone and get on with being men or women and part of the human race, rather than exist to reinforce differences that I and many others would rather just forget.


Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

2 thoughts on “Accused of harboring internalized transphobia”

  1. I get similar reactions from other trans people because I don’t want to make being transgender the center of my life and identity. There is so much more to life than being trans or cis and for some reason many trans people put so much focus on gender identity and transition. It’s like if you’re not super out and proud activist trans then they immediately assume you hate yourself for being trans.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thabk you! Finely another trans person agrees akd doesn’t question why I choose to just stay away.

      If I have internalized transphobia, it’s because of examples like thus. It’d not hatred, but rather a fear of getting triggered. I should not have to explain why discussing transition is painful and personal to me

      Tire same thing happened a couple of weeks ago, with a transwoman who found my blog because she said she was “tired of reading happy ending transition stories” it hurt me so badly, because most of the issues I face have nothing to do with transition or being trans

      Liked by 1 person

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