I just woke from a horrible nightmare that I kept drifting in and out of. It’s made me realize that I never want to become elderly.
For whatever reason, my mum and my care manager had gone behind my back and I was moved into a nursing home. The room they put me in had no window and smelled of chemicals and death. I kept asking the nurses why I’d been put here. I got a call from my insurance company saying that they weren’t going to pay the bill and the person on the phone kept calling me “sir”, so I hung up and smashed my phone. I’d left all of my hormones and blockers behind, but no one was willing to retrieve them for me, so I started to panic. Then a large male nurse gave me an injection that put me to sleep.
Then I found myself in another room, where my mum was berating me for something I’d done to deserve being imprisoned here. An old lady had just died in one of the nearby beds in the same room, which was more reminiscent of a small hospital ward, with 4-5 beds.
The next morning, I escaped. I found my mum, brother and care manager all casually eating breakfast at a nearby outdoor cafe. I kept asking them why they’d put me in an old people’s home, but they just ignored me. I then crashed my wheelchair into the table they were sitting at to get their attention, which is when I woke up finally.
I don’t ever want to get old. What the point anyway, unless you have children and grandchildren to exist for and a partner to grow old with? The nightmare has left me feeling very low and has also left me with a sickening feeling of dread and nausea.