I haven’t touched on the subject of ‘chasers’ for a while, but I want to talk about another group of people who export transgender women: closeted bisexual men.
I was talking to a guy on Tinder earlier and he seemed pretty nice at first. But then he told me he wants someone to accept him for who he is, but I already knew what he was going to say before he actually said it. He told me that he was bisexual and as we talked more, I became increasingly uneasy as he started using terms such as “top” and “bottom” which trigger my dysphoria. He’d asked me earlier on if I was post op, but I refused to answer. But in the end., I told him that I was post-op and couldn’t give him anything different from a cisgender woman. He instantly blocked me, which didn’t surprise me. Like several other closeted bisexual men (only one woman has ever done this to me), he wanted a girl with a penis that could fuck him like a man.
I am actually quite repulsed by th selfish actions of such men. It has nothing to do with their sexuality as I am bisexual myself, but it is the callous and disrespectful way that some of them exploit transgender women. They have no regard for the fact that they could trigger someone’s dysphoria in one of the worst and most degrading ways. In my case, he didn’t care that I’d told him that I was sexually assaulted a year ago and that I didn’t want to talk about sex.
I know I’m hardly an advocate for the transgender community, but I’m sick and tired of chasers. They assume that transgender women have male sex drives and are quite happy to use whatever parts they have. This assumption is both wrong and dangerous. I’m sure some pre-op transgender women are not as opposed to it as I am, but I believe they are the minority, rather than the majority.
The best advice I can give to girls like me that are attracted to men is to tell them you’re post-op. You’ll scare away the chasers and the closeted bisexual men looking to experiment with you. Do not do anything you’re not comfortable with, even if you’re lonely like I am and would love to find a boyfriend.
As for the men in question, if you want someone to fuck you like a man, ask a man and leave transgender women alone, unless you are willing to see us as women and treat us in accordance with our gender identify. I don’t mind helping men or women come to terms with their sexuality, but DO NOT use me or any other transgender woman as an experiment. To put it bluntly, fuck off.