When My Fear and Paranoia Are Justified (When it’s not just”In my head”)

Just a few days after two incidents here at the motel (‘Scary Late Night Drama at the Motel‘), now there are five police cars outside.  I glanced out of the window and saw them arresting someone, but I didn’t want to be seen taking pictures.   But this is toprove that I’m not making this stuff up:

This place isn’t “safe” as Holly (former friend) told me it was and tried to make me look like an idiot when I posted on Facebook that I didn’t feel safe in the motel or the surrounding area.

I’ve never felt so scared and unsafe for a prolonged period like this before.  I wish I’d stayed where I was, in England.  The scariest people I’d have to worry about would be stupid teenage chavs, who’ve never given me any problems while I lived there.  Here it’s ADULTS  – real criminals.  I’ve been aware of a sense of death since I arrived at this motel and sure enough, there have been two murders here.

I feel so anxious all the time.  I can never switch off or let my guard down, not even for a second.  On the rare occasions that I have to go down to the motel lobby to get boiling water or to heat up food, I panic,’but I try not to show fear or vulnerability.  

There’s no sign of safe housing on the horizon.  I’d likely have to be here for at least another month.   

It doesn’t matter anymore.  Very soon, I’ll be free from all of this. I promise.

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Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

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