Bad Food and Bad Weather

I fell asleep not long after watching the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead.  While I love the show and have done since the second season, I find the violence and gore a bit too much at times.   This is despite being exposed to horror movies from a very young age by my  (former) stepdad.

I took 3 Seroquel and slept through until around 6am.  When I woke up, there was a ton of snow on the ground outside:

Needless to say, I can’t go out at all without the right footwear.  I did manage to find cheap plus-size women’s boots on eBay and used the money that my mum had paid into my account to pay for them.   I’ve also had 3 donations so far on my GoFundMe so far, but I’m saving that to pay for the WiFi at this motel, as it’s vital that I stay connected. 

Up until I was moved to this motel, I had maintained a good diet for over 3 years.  Asidefrom the fruit I try to eat every day, my diet has gone to shit.   I’ve been living on a combination of canned soups and canned chili, snack noodles, canned fish sandwicheS, candy and chips.  I can’t even eat as much fruit as I used to, as I can only get to a proper supermarket once a week, IF my care manager can take me.   I’m really starting to suffer the effects of this awful diet.  I feel continually lethargic and sluggish and my depression is worse.   I have to continue to live this way for at least another month. 

I wish I could afford to at order takeout twice a week, because I have no way of preparing or storing food in my motel room.  I don’t even like using the microwave in the lobby, as there are almost always people down there.  
I’m supposed to be talking to my dad at 1pm on the phone.  I’m not really sure what to tell him.  I’m also hoping that one of the (good) people I met at the transgender group two weeks ago*might* be able to take me to a supermarket today, especially as the weather is going to continue to deteriorate over the next few days.  I need to get out of this room somehow, because I’m going stir crazy and the constant noise is triggering my misophonia.  Hopefully my boots arrive soon.  Hopefully my cash assistance will be switched back on soon.  

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Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

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