This is a list of all the issues that I’m currently facing (or rather, trying not to face). Some of these may seem trivial to the average ‘normal’ person, but I can assure you that they’re anything *but* trivial.
– Scared to go out due to social / generalized anxiety.
– Scared of some of the people staying in this motel.
– Too scared to use the laundry room at the motel, so I have no way of washing clothes.
– Feeling generally stranded as I’m a long way from everything in a strange city.
– Unemployment and being unemployable.
– Worries over housing and homelessness.
– Isolation, loneliness, which will only worsen during the holidays.
– Being a long way from my family.
– Trump Related: the fear of losing my rights, healthcare and transition.
– Trump Related: the ‘open season’ on legitimized hate towards marginalized people. Fear of harassment or worse (transphobia).
– Feeling let down by people and angry at myself for trusting them in the first place.
– Having no one to talk to in person, except those that are paid to talk to me once a week.
– Paranoia, anxiety/panic and depression worsening.
– Dysphoria and disgust over my ugliness and my voice is ever present.