Half way through this wretched weekend and I’m going crazy holed up in this apartment with these two introverts, who want me gone jus as much as I want to be gone. Even if it weren’t the weekend, it’s too cold to go outside with the (lack of) clothing that I have. I wish I could go out, even just for a couple of hours.
The pile of dishes has now become a mountain. I was so irate when I saw it earlier that I drained them and moved them onto the floor, just loudly enough to wake up the culprit, who expects everyone else to accommodate their sleep schedule. I feel guilty for the fact that my friend is letting me stay here, but then I hate that I have no control over anything and it’s making me hate both of them, not only my friend’s friend. This is the horrible person I have become, ugly inside and out, rotten to the core.
I can’t sleep well here. My friend wakes up at 6am and starts typing on her keyboard, the sound of which sends me into a rage, as I have misophonia. I spend as much time in the bathroom (where I am now), but usually only as long as my phone battery lasts.
This is bad; if I’m not able to find housing soon, I’m going to have to consider packing my bags and just leaving. I’m not sure where I’ll go – maybe that will be the catalyst I need to end all of this. I’m sorry for whatever I did, but please just make it all stop. How much longer of this sentence am I expected to serve before I lose my mind and my temper?