I just want to say that I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read my blog, especially those who’ve liked and commented. This is sort of like the Livejournal of the 2010’s, only it seems to be a wider audience.
I do look at my stats sometimes wonder who’s reading my blog. As far as I know, there are only two ‘friends’ aware of its existence. But then I wonder if anyone else who knows me personally is reading this. Perhaps my mum or my brother, perhaps ex partners or friends who I’m unaware are reading my entries.
I look at these stats wondering who these people are from across the globe. This blog isn’t intended to be seen by most people that known me (or have known me in the past), but there are people in my life who I hurt and therefore, I wouldn’t mind them reading this, even if it’s just to help them forgive themselves and move on.
This blog is a record of my existence, the pain I go through and the people I’ve been lucky enough to cross paths with, even if things went bad. When I’m gone, this will be all that’s left. I figured I won’t need to write a note, as the explanation is here for all to see. I am fully aware that I am taking huge risks by sharing what is essentially, my diary.
If you know me personally and you’re reading this, chances are I did you wrong or hurt you in some way. For that I am sorry, even though ‘sorry’ doesn’t even remotely cut it, I know. Please know that you are welcome to come out of the shadows, whoever you are. Even if you just want to tell the world what a horrible person I am, I won’t argue with you.
I’m sorry that I’ve been such a disappointment. Here’s a song that’s been stuck in my head all day….’Fade Into You’ by Mazzy Star:
“I wanna hold the hand inside you
I wanna take the breath that’s true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth.”