My mother’s (obvious) lack of faith in my transition

I feel totally hopeless. I told my mum that things weren’t going well (or to plan) here in the US and I told her about the incidents of harassment. This was her response:

She has never instilled any hope in me with regard to transition, which makes me feel like it’s utterly hopeless. That message is basically confirming that the insecurities I have about myself are in fact, correct and justified. It is passive-aggressive, but that’s what I read into it. That I must look so bad that “it could happen anywhere”. 

Don’t get me wrong, she accepts me as her daughter and has done for some time, but she has never given me any kind of confidence in myself. It’s partly the reason why I believe that everyone who tells me I’m beautiful or that I pass as a woman is simply lying through their teeth. It’s certain; my mum sees the same freak that I see in the mirror every day.

Thanks for confirming that my insecurities are valid, mum.  I guess you agree that I look like a freak and a crossdresser. 

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Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

16 thoughts on “My mother’s (obvious) lack of faith in my transition”

  1. I look at that picture you have of yourself as your avatar and all I see is a lady. Sure there are more attractive women out there, but you certainly don’t look like a man in my opinion. We can’t all be supermodels.

    Hugs,
    -Autumn

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Really sorry. I didn’t mean to offend at all. I just thought maybe if you could envision the end of the journey as bright and exactly where you want to be…. I admit. I don’t understand transgender and really am sorry. With weightloss they say envisioning the goal makes the journey less difficult. For me, my difficult emotions are related to my weight and my parents give me continual grief about it. I assumed it could be relatable. But I was wrong. Sorry

        Like

      2. I feel really really bad for offending you. I just really want you to know that it wasn’t a comment on your photo or how you look. I’m sorry. I should have considered how my question would be perceived before I asked it. I will remember this in future. I do appreciate the advice you share on my blog and do relate to a lot that you say in yours. I really am sorry. I don’t think that about you at all

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