No matter how much that I *want* to be straight sometimes, I’m not and never will be. I have loved 1 woman with all of my heart and I was very much sexually attracted to her, despite having virtually no libido.
The truth is that gender doesn’t matter, because it’s the person I fall in love with. Granted, I don’t know a whole lot about love, but I felt it once and I fell in love with her before we’d even met in person. The same could occur with a man, woman, a binary or non-binary transgender person (though I’ve had one too many bad experiences with other transwomen to cosbider dating one again).
I have also found that I can control who I’m attracted to. If I look at pictures of men, I feel almost straight. The same can occur with women, but my connections with women tend to be on a deeper and less aesthetic level.
I don’t care about what sex organ someone has, or if it doesn’t match with their gender. But I don’t find random penises or vaginas attractive in any way, nor do I care to look at them. I do not undefsgsnd the fixation with sex organs in the LGBT community in particular.
One thing I realize now is that I’ve left it very late to start dating men. My experiences with men so far have ranged from frustrating to downright damaging and dangerous. I’ve only ever been with 2 males, one of which was during my early teens. I would love to be able to find a “nornal” guy, but it seems to be impossible. At least women will respect me and my comfort zone more. I felt safe around my lesbian ex girlfriends, because I knew they wouldn’t want to touch me in a certain place (though one of them made me feel unsafe when she started fooling around with other transgender women and calling it “polyamory”).
So I need to stop trying to be be straight, because I know I would never turn the right girl down (and I have one in mind, although that is unlikely to happen). And labels really don’t matter a whole lot, but: