I’m going to take a huge gamble with a guy who replied to my “accommodation wanted” ad on Craigslist last week. He was one of several messages I got from people basically wanting to fuck me.
I wasn’t going to respond, although he said in the message he would not only provide a place to live, but also a little money if needed. His age doesn’t bother me; he’s 62 and works full time. We exchanged several emails and I said I’d meet him this Thursday, in a public place (most likely a bar). If we click, the idea is that I could be paid to “help” him any way I can, including sex.
Before you chastise me or judge me, I am doing this for me. Not only could it be a potential source of income and housing, but it may end up being a symbiotic relationship of some sorts. I feel much safer after he told me he has a daughter and the fact that he’s willing to meet me in a public place also makes me feel safer. He liked the pictures I sent him of me and he tells me he will help me work on my self esteem. He said he isn’t bothered about my voice or how tall and leggy I am.
I am hoping that this will also help me overcome my fear of men, after the bad experiences I’ve had. If this goes well, it will help me feel a little more confident meeting men on a potentially romantic basis. If it goes pear shaped, it will probably make matters worse.
But I realize it’s a huge risk and I’m going to have to down a couple of drinks to fight my anxiety. I see it as an opportunity though. But he will probably be disgusted by me and that is the worst case scenario I am trying to prepare for. If it works out, I might even consider trying to find others willing to pay me for services rendered.
I’ve really got notning to lose and the money could go towards getting my legal name and gender changed, much needed clothes and finishing electrolysis on my face. I should do it now, before I get too old.