Pre-sleep anxiety 

Just took the 2 little orange pills, also known as Mirtazapine.  I already know what’s in store now; 30 minutes of pre-sleep anxiety, followed by being unnaturally jolted into another deep and terrifying “dirty sleep”. 

I wonder what nightmares are in store for me this time.  I’ve had demonic possession, past flashbacks that are distorted to seem more like horror movies or perhaps a painful reminder of someone I’ve lost.   Then I’ll wake up, around 3am in a state of terrified panic, with no one here to comfort me.  Shit, I know I’m not ready to date, but I wish I had someone to hold me at night; someone who could catch me before I fall into the abyss of my nightmares. 

I know it’s coming though.  There was a time I used to look forward to sleep, but not anymore.  When I get to see a psychiatrist, I will ask about changing meds or going back on Prazosin. 


Author: Becca

Dead to the world, dead inside.

1 thought on “Pre-sleep anxiety ”

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