I know I’m not alone when I express my frustration at people who think they’re helping me by telling me that looks don’t matter and that I’m beautiful on the inside. Such comments aren’t helpful and can easily be taken out of context, especially in my case when I have BPD and have so many “triggers”.
The fact is that I’m not beautiful on the inside either. I am depressed most of the time, self-loathing, terrified of people I don’t know and nothing more than a net drain and a burden on others. What is it about my personality that is so “beautiful”? I’ll tell you: NOTHING, NADA! This is just bullshit they tell ugly / unattractive people so that they’ll shut the fuck up and deceive themselves into thinking that looks don’t matter. It is certainly not something you should say to a transgender woman, who has struggled hard over the years to be recognised. I know that I’m not beautiful, but I get upset when people start going on about inner beauty, as I’ve been spun that bullshit my entire life.
Here’s an idea; if you’re not willing to compliment that person even just to make them feel a little human, don’t say anything at all.